IN Mothers’ Day People who have lost a loved one may feel even greater grief and emptiness. On May 26, everything will remind them that their mother has passed away and they will no longer be able to give her a gift, call her, or simply hug and kiss her.
How do you manage these difficult emotions? Rebecca Soffer, who lost both of her parents at age 30, believes there are strategies we can use to get through Mother’s Day or other similar holidays that overwhelm us. The co-founder of the Modern Loss community encourages you to implement them in your life.
Grieving the Loss of a Mother. How to Cope?
Give yourself the right to cancel certain packages
Soffer said she enjoys planning Mother’s Day and Fathers Day in advance. These two days a year are extremely difficult for her. However, the expert emphasizes that in addition to planning, we should also give ourselves the right to cancel certain things if we feel that they might be too much for us.
“No one can ever predict exactly how they’re going to feel when that day or event happens. Be kind to yourself. Let it just be a good day,” advises the author of “The Modern Loss Handbook: An Interactive Guide to Moving Through Grief.” and Build Resilience.
Disconnect from social networks
If the number of Mother’s Day posts your friends are posting starts to overwhelm you and their content makes you sad and desperate, just don’t read them. On this day, forget about social networks. It’s really possible. Thanks to this, you will not stir up difficult emotions and your day will be calmer.
Do something for yourself or a loved one
Rebecca Soffer encourages us to stop for a moment and think about how we are truly feeling on this day. While you may be filled with feelings of loss and sadness, there are still ways to make these emotions a little more bearable. If showing gratitude and giving gifts is important to you, you can always buy a nice gift and write a card to yourself or give a small gift to someone else. Especially if they are also grieving.
“Life after the loss of a loved one is difficult. But when you feel like you’re not alone in it and you can talk to someone, then you become a little less alone and hurting,” Soffer says.
Talk to your loved ones about your deceased mother
Even if she is not with you that day, she may remain in your memories or those of your loved ones. Call your family members and ask them to tell you a story or an anecdote about your mother. Also think about the best times you spent together. This way, mom will always be close to you.
Give yourself time
Rebecca Soffer also has a very important message for those who will be celebrating Mother’s Day for the first time this year in the shadow of mourning.
“If this period is really difficult for you, believe me, it doesn’t mean that it will always be this way. Some years will be more emotionally charged, others a little less. But remember not to worry and not to think about how you will survive another day. Survive it and move on,” advises the expert.
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